A Timeless Struggle

This contest has raged fiercely for as long as I can remember now. Since the first time I went into a supermarket these cardboard giants have been battling it out in the lightweight, cruiserweight and heavyweight sub 750g categories. It is of course, the cereal packet freegift-off.

Very simply, the packet with the best free gift wins, and gets to ride in the victory basket. Other hopeless offers like ‘250g extra’, prize draws, and even the mighty buy-one-get-one-free have all lost before the bell even rings. Any kind of plastic robot is usually a dead cert, although fake tattoos and pencil-related gifts also do well.

The biggest loser: Cut out cardboard pidgeon (Weetos)
You can’t just draw a free gift on your cereal packet and expect it to work. That’s what Coyote used to do in Road Runner cartoons - painting a train tunnel on the side of a cliff face, and trying to run through it. The last thing children need in this day and age is to be let down by their cereal box as well as by everyone else. Even if a mother let the child cut-out the bird prior to the cereal ending (unlikely as it would mutilate the box), the child would be sorely disappointed as the bird is only colored on one side. It will show kids (wrongly) that creating things by your own hand is worthless in the face of a mass produced lightsaber toy. And I guarantee it will not fly for more than a yard. More tears.



This week’s winner: Plastic Lego Knight (Cinnamon Grahams)
Best of a weak bunch. Last week’s champion, the seemingly unassailable “Star Wars Lightsaber Maze” (Frosties) toy turned out to rubbish, so no repeat purchase. The knight goes through to the quarterfinals along with some Kinder Egg and Happy Meal toys.



For the record, the camp which has bred the most winners is Frosties. Honorable mention to Sugar Puffs and Cinnamon Toast Crunch which have both been purchased with no/weak promotion.