I went to a Chinese chip shop

To prove that I read things that aren't the Internet, I am going to tell you about a truly sweet article in the Saturday Times. It's all about playground rhymes and how they have and haven't changed. These guys have recorded ditties from all over the country; I can't remember what the point of the study is, but the results speak for themselves... some key findings:

1. Kids readily absorb and process the media around them:

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Santa's lying dead.
Teletubbies, Teletubbies, shot him in the head.
Barbie girl, Barbie girl, tried to save his life.
Action Man, Action Man stabbed him wi' a knife.
- Glasgow

2. They deconstruct the meaning of old classics and add relevance where needed:

Mary, Mary, quite contary.
How does your garden grow?
I live in a flat, you stupid twat,
So how the fuck should I know?
- Generic

3. Trends in ethnicity are evident, in the R Kelly parody:

I believe I can fly,
I got shot by the FBI,
All I wanted was a chicken wing,
And I got shot in the ding-a-ling.
- Hackney

The future is in safe hands.

Source: The Times Magazine 21 May 2005.